One Down, Many To Go

Well, it's been a typical Monday, filled with too many telephone calls from stupid people that were hardly offset by the few calls I got from smart people, a deadline I've known about for weeks, but finally faced up to, and a jackass who flipped me off because I snookered him into letting me into a lane of traffic I intended to make a left turn from (I am not the ideal person to share a road with, I admit that). Combine that kind of day with temperatures in the 90s (it's almost Thanksgiving, for cryin' out loud!) and the discovery when I got home that the workers renovating the apartment next door were once again cutting and grinding granite counter tops in front of my apartment, which meant I couldn't open any windows because of the noise and the dust, and you have the recipe for meltdown.

I was in desperate need of some cheering up, so I went to a reliable source for that, Molly Ivins. It worked. Her November 16, 2006 column considered the departure of Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, and included some really memorable Rumsfeldian words of wisdom.

Meanwhile, let us bid farewell and adieu to Brother Donald Rumsfeld, who is so full of wisdom he does not seem to be able to apply it. As a parting gift, here are some of his classic quotes:

1. "If you develop rules, never have more than 10."

2. "Don't think of yourself as indispensable or infallible. As Charles De Gaulle said, the cemeteries of the world are full of indispensable men."

3. "Needless to say, the president is correct. Whatever it was he said."

4. "I don't do quagmires."

5. "I don't do diplomacy."

6. "I don't do foreign policy."

7. "I don't do predictions."

8. "I don't do numbers."

9. "I don't do book reviews."

10. "Don't divide the world into 'them' and 'us.' Avoid infatuation with or resentment of the press, the Congress, rivals or opponents. Accept them as facts. They have their jobs, and you have yours."

11. "Don't say, 'The White House wants.' Buildings can't want."

12. "If I know the answer, I'll tell you the answer. And if I don't, I'll just respond cleverly."

13. "I believe what I said yesterday. I don't know what I said, but I know what I think, and, well, I assume it's what I said."

I suppose an argument can be made that in light of current realities, these quotes are enormously depressing because they represent a man who for nearly six years has been in charge of the world's greatest military and who has managed to destroy that military and helped to destroy the American image abroad. Today, however, especially knowing that he is on his way out, I just laughed and laughed and laughed.