Opportunity Knocks

I recommend knocking back, if the (engine) knock of opportunity is being presented by the right wing.

Admittedly, I'm not a member of the audience for the American Idol variety of shows, which I understand are an economical way of creating television shows without huge budgets to hire actual actors. This is an opportunity in itself, the television industry's use of innate qualities of the audience that wants to be a star, to save on budgets. Seeing the competition gimmick used by a presidential campaign, offering a $300 million prize to the first in your block to invent a better mousetrap, oh, 'xcuse me, battery, to solve high gas prices, now there is the ultimate use of Merkin individualism imagery.

Earlier this weekend, I got a similar gag reflex at Wall Street Report's Maria Bartelomo describing the stock market dive as another 'opportunity'. Well, how could any investor who's just lost his kids' college education not be inspired, here you are, on a golden platter, your chance to go out and buy, say, GM, really, really cheap? Go on, I dare you. Loser. It would be un-Merkin to stop now while you're not but just a few decades of hard work behind.

Not so long ago, to be exact, just before March of 2003, I listened to Gen. Colin Powell representing this worst administration ever, before Congress calling the Iraq frame-up a 'great opportunity' that we couldn't afford to pass up. The opportunity was not for the Merkin people, though his statement didn't point that out. It was a great opportunity for the war criminals in the White House, to use false information to get this country into a quagmire, and they went for it in a very big way. A great opportunity, as long as they continue to get by with throwing away our treasure, and our security, for their gain of a war of their choice.

The White House cabal tried to get Merkins to throw away Social Security in exchange for the great opportunity to invest their earned old-age security in the stock market. Oh, yes, that stock market, now having the worst June since 1930.

Giving opportunity a bad name should be one achievement chalked up to this executive branch, and it isn't a surprise that McCain would continue to jump on it. An energy plan depending on awarding the winner of a big contest, that is carnival barker politics brought to a new precipice.

John McCain's (R) call for a $300 million prize for better automotive battery is still making waves. The latest to raise a voice are the people who are already offering some prize money for cleaner cars: the Progressive Automotive X PRIZE. Of course, the AXP is a much smaller prize purse ($10m) and is for an entire car and production plans. Don Foley, the Progressive Automotive X PRIZE's executive director, has issued the following statement: We commend Senator McCain for recognizing that great innovations can arise from the spirit of competition. But creating a new battery is only part of a broader challenge to solve our country's energy crisis and dependence on foreign oil. We must also look seriously at developing new vehicles, especially those that are production capable. There's no single path to energy independence; we need to explore many different technologies, fuels and vehicles before the American public can determine the most practical, environmentally-friendly and energy conscious solution for the future. We commend all public and private sector efforts to bring attention to these issues, including those by our title sponsor Progressive, and we look forward to being a part of the solution.

So, it's not really a put down - the AXP wouldn't dare - but it does bolster the general criticisms that have been issued in response to McCain's idea that it just isn't well thought out.

In order to further the Great Race, let me suggest that competitions could be offered to Merkins for their solutions to the gas prices that are putting a hammerlock on the economy, (ignore that man behind the curtain) such as:

Free food for a year if you originate a recipe that can feed a family of four for a week using the least expensive ingredients, that your kids will eat!

Free public transportation for a year to the inventor of a self-propelled wagon that can go to a place (presumably of business) at least fifteen miles distant using only the power of the commuters aboard. No animals or humans may be harmed in the process.

A year in a climate that remains at 75F (capitalist degrees) forever, to the solar panel inventor using the least expensive elements, must be obtained legally, which utilize all natural ingredients. A bonus to anyone who makes same out of plastic bags from the grocery store.

Well, you get the idea. Get those Merkin ingenues a'workin', fokes, we have us a campaign to whup up. Rev up the tambourines, and march to your local dump/recycling station for materials. Stop whining about rational, sound policies, those just don't have the appeal we need to get out the votes in the land of Merkin Idyll.

Or you can start going door to door and try to get this country on the right track. The prize is a healthy country run by actual public servants in office, who honor their oaths of office. Stranger things have happened.